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TikTokers have created a player-generated RPG full of money-dealing cats, and it’s absolutely wildI’m now on the run for my dabloon crimes
I’m now on the run for my dabloon crimes
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There’s been all kinds of trending nonsense on TikTok lately, many of which have come and gone without comment. But this tidal wave of dabloonary is totally different from what I’ve seen before. This is something I can get on board with. It’s cute, funny, and - keeping true to all things online - is something nice that has completely spiralled out of control.
To start my own dabloon journey, I watched a couple of dabloon TikToks to show my interest and the creepily fast algorithm did the rest. Between TikToks of driveway power washing and guinea pig houses, the dabloons started to flow. I got off to a flying start: a lovely cat in a cute cottage gave me 20 dabloons. I then bought a slice of pumpkin pie from a friendly shopkeeper for 4 dabloons, which I decided was more than reasonable.
@dabloonss.sStay safe out there travelers#dabloons#dabloontok#dabloonscat#4dabloons#foryou#fyp#foryoupage#dabloonmeme♬ cold island sped up - leo/puffer!!!!
I should say there’s no official database of dabloon exchanges (thisisTikTok we’re talking about), so every exchange is built on the honour system. There’s nothing stopping you from just pretending you have 1000 dabloons, for example -although if you did, you’d kinda be missing the entire point, and a stinky cheater. To keep track of your dabloons, users have started using their smartphone’s notes app or, if you’re like me, on the back of an old, crumpled B&Q receipt. Some players have even started using spreadsheets to keep tabs on their dabloon intake and outtake.
@ms.dabloonnMs. Dabloon.#fyp#foryou#dabloons#dablooncat#dabloon♬ original sound - dabloon
What’s great about dabloontok is that it’s completely sustained through its users. Anyone can make dabloon videos - gifting them or stealing them - and it’s honestly pretty cool. It’s like a cross between an imaginary playground game and D&D.
Makeshift laws have now been put in place, like how you’re only allowed to give and accept quantities of dabloons under 100. Anything over and you’ve just got yourself some illegal dabloons, my friend. Comment sections are rife with dabloon cops, too, so you’d better scramble and get rid of those hot dabloons quickly.
With inflation, items have gotten more expensive, and buying must-have safety precautions is quickly draining me of my current dabloon pool. Insurance can be upwards of 50 dabloons, guard dogs to keep you safe can be up to 20+, and even comforting mugs of hot chocolate can be around the 10 dabloon mark. Pure lunacy.
In my darkest hour of Dabloontok, I have now become a criminal. Well, it was more of an accident, really, honest. One video I came across had a cat that didn’t seem to be selling anything, so I stuck around in hope of getting some free dabloons. Suddenly, though, the video switched in tone and the cat was, in fact,stealingdabloons from the National Dabloonian Bank. I was now a helpless accomplice to this cat’s crimes. Shit, shit, shit. With cops in every comment section and the Dabloonian government cracking down on illegal dabloon cases, I’m on the run. This is my life now. This is what happens when you get in too deep buying imaginary items from cats with currency that’s not even real.
