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The Callisto Protocol’s PC patches restore it to full “yeah, it’s alright” gloryFixes to the shader compilation stutter mean you can now play an adequate game

Fixes to the shader compilation stutter mean you can now play an adequate game

A horrible split-faced monster in The Callisto Protocol.

Anyway, the point is that a patch was released over the weekend, and another yesterday. I’m out of town right now, so I haven’t been able to install the second, but I did play test the first one, and whaddaya know? The Callisto Protocol ran smooth for me, using a PC with the recommended specs.

The Callisto Protocol - Official Launch TrailerThis place has a way of changing you, like, metaphorically but also literally, like how people have mutated into - y… You see what I’m saying? What I’m getting at here?Watch on YouTube

The Callisto Protocol - Official Launch Trailer

Cover image for YouTube video

This effort has at least meant the game has climbed up to having a Mixed review status onSteam. It’s always a shame when something like this happens, because on PS5 The Callisto Protocol looks really impressive. You put your work out into the world, you want it to be judged on its merit. You don’t want people to not even be able to find the merit because of technical issues.

Thing is, on its merit I still think The Callisto Protocol is just allllright. The merging of movement and combat controls will remain divisive, it isn’t getting NG+ until next year, and it’s just kind of given itself airs, really. Like I saidin a supporter post, The Callisto Protocol seems to think it’s a prestige horror like, you know, Hereditary or The Babadook when it’s actually an Eli Roth movie.

That’s not to make a value judgement over different kinds of horror, because one of the most annoying things about the term “prestige horror” is that it undervalues other horror subgenres. I am an inordinately fond of many different kinds of horror. A gory, tropey horror can be just as good as one that reli make u think - but not if it’s embarrassed about what it is. You need a consistent tone to create a consistent experience

But what does the room full of hanging dead bodies and viscerarepresent?

Jacob enters a room in The Callisto Protocol that is full of murdered guards strung up on the ceiling

The Callisto Protocol is a game where you stomp on dead bodies like balloons! You throw mutants into mulchers and it rains blood! One character does many monologues, the content of which might as well be replaced with “I am evil”! Lean into it. Enjoy it. Don’t be ashamed! You don’t have to pretend it’s anything more than it is. It’s why “new experience” rather than “new game” in the title menu struck me as being quite silly. The Callisto Protocol actually does some cool things with its systems, and even the combat doesn’t have to be as tortuous as you’d think, but the game is so focused on being prestige-y and spooky that it doesn’t want to ruinthe experiencewith mundane shit like robust turorialising.

So, update: The Callisto Protocol works pretty well on PC now. There are some good things about it, but. You know. Yeah, it’s alright. Decent. Pick it up in a sale, maybe. You’ll have fun.