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The Apex Legends Grand Soirée lacks for wholesome bonding activitiesApex leg friends
Apex leg friends
Here is my alternative lineup of pleasant and wholesome activities.
14th to 15th: British Museum of History promotion event
16th to 17th: Noughts and Crosses tournament
18th to 19th: Caustic’s weekend of poison
Every player is given a speed and damage enhancing power up, courtesy of Caustic’s “special cola”. The gang spends the next two days slowly choking on their own intestines.
20th to 21st: Caustic gets an intervention
As the last of the poison works its way through people’s systems, the gang realise that Caustic is the one who’s truly suffering. They sit him down and eventually get him talking. He reveals that he was bullied through childhood, and his enthusiasm for poisonous gas is mostly an attempt to make others feel as he does on the inside. Unloading this perks him right up, and he promises not to inflict chemical torture on anyone who he’s not explicitly being paid to.
22nd to 23rd: Cèilidh
Wattson leads the gang in a big dance, channelling everyone’s combat prowess into the Britannia Twostep. Everyone trips over Lifeline’s drone, which resents being left out and refuses to wait at the side like it’s been told to.
24th to 25th: Falconry
26th to 27th: Regular murder
The gang go back to murdering each other, as they are lost and don’t know better.
