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The 9 least convincing disguises in PC gamesMust have just been the wind

Must have just been the wind

Agent 47, from Hitman, is disguised as a famous tattoo artist, with cap backwards and fake tattoos on his arms. He is in a selfie with a blonde woman throwing up the Shaka sign with her free hand

Psst. It’s me. You probably had trouble seeing through my clever disguise, a slightly longer coat than usual. But I assure you, it’s myself, the list goblin. My disguise is good, eh? Unlike some of these examples. Here are 9 of the worst disguises in videogames.

DEATH STRANDING DIRECTOR’S CUT Teaser Trailer - 2021 - 4KWatch on YouTube

DEATH STRANDING DIRECTOR’S CUT Teaser Trailer - 2021 - 4K

Cover image for YouTube video

A box -Metal Gear Solid

An enemy in Metal Gear Solid is entranced by the sexy lady pinup on the outside of Snake’s box diguise

Agents -Evil Genius 2

A hallway in a lair in Evil Genius 2 showing several minions targeting a very obvious enemy spy

Mud -Shadow Of The Tomb Raider

Lara Croft, covered in mud, is behind an enemy soldier and about to strike, in a promo screenshot from Shadow Of The Tomb Raider

Lara Croft, the world’s most famous gap year student who thinks she is a jungle. She believes if you smear muck all over your eyelids, you will become one with the rainforest, rather than, say, getting conjunctivitis. She reckons if you put hastily butchered furs all over your body, you will embody the spirit of an imperceivable beast, as opposed to smelling so bad you alert every human being and wild animal in a 100-meter radius. Cut it out, Lozza. You’re not a seasoned guerilla revolutionary. You’re on a package holiday in Cancun.

Red guy with “Blue” as his username -Among Us

The starting screen of multiplayer deception game Among Us

A trickster flourish of disinformation that everyone can appreciate. Yet this will never fluster smart players such as myself. Social deduction wundergame Among Us is all about observation, deception and trust. If I cannot trust you to give yourself a normal username, like Xx_EaterOfGibbons_xX or DopePope420, then how can I trust you in an extraterrestrially besieged space station? I can’t. So get out of here, Blue. I mean Red. The red guy, no listen, he’s called blue but he’s red. Yes, blue. No, not blue-blue, red-blue. Listen, he’s- LISTEN.

A pot -Dark Souls 3

The player character in Dark Souls leaps towards the back of a giant statue, on a snowy courtyard

Before thepotbois of Elden Ring, there were thepotbois of Dark Souls. Magically transforming yourself into an irregularly lit environmental object is only convincing if your enemy has poor prop hunt skill. Be thatbox,branchorbig statue.

Mileena -Mortal Kombat 11

A headshot of Mileena from Mortal Kombat, a woman with bobbed dark hair and a purple mask obscuring the bottom half of her face

It’s been 10 games since we met you, Milly. We all know you’re a fanged beast under the mask. Be true to yourself. We accept you for who you are. (A sadistic killer).

The Phantom Thieves -Persona 5 Strikers

The Phantom Thieves gang in Persona 5 Strikers

Corvo at the masked ball -Dishonored

Image credit:Bethesda Softworks

A key art short of Corvo from Dishonored, in his clockwork-skull mask with hood up, and his arms forming an x shape in front of his chest. One hand holds his knife, and the other has the mark of the Outsider glowing on it

“You’re a scandal in that mask,” says a moth-faced guest at Lady Boyle’s costume party. She thinks you’re only dressed-up as the magical assassin stalking the streets of Dunwall. In reality, youarethe assassin. A brash play, some would say. A taste of delicious dramatic irony, others would argue. No, be quiet some and others. Corvo is being lazy. Look at the effortMiss Mothwent to. That’s cosplayer-level dedication. Corvo is like your friend Jerry, who comes to the Halloween party without a costume and says: “Ha ha, I’ve come as ‘Jerry’, ha ha ha.”

Agent 47 -Hitman

Agent 47 from Hitman disguised as a waiter, in a blue shirt and golden waistcoat

One Off The List from…TimeSplitterslevels we want

Last time I coyly suggested13 levels we’d like to see in the new TimeSplitters. But one of these speculative timezones has been delisted. It’s…Your flat in 2020.

“I’d take pretty much any level besides my apartment during 2020,” says time travelllist ‘Vestergaardish’, typing aloud what we’re all thinking. “What a miserable place.”

And thus it was so. That hypothetical level is no more, its pre-existence: expunged. It never happened. The hollow year cannot harm us from the void. See you next time, list goblins.