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The 9 deadliest sharks in videogamesOne Off The List
One Off The List
Listen, never mind that sharks are not the mindlessly violent animals we’ve been trained to fear, and simply additional victims of mankind’s global vertebrate binge. Dismiss, please, the ongoing cultural rehabilitation of this toothy swimmer, who is statistically quite poor at killing humans. Ignore also their adorable habit offalling asleepwhen you hold them upside-down. Forget it, forget it all. No morelovey-dovey thoughtsfor these wondrous aquatic beings, more maligned than malignant. This is a list about videogame sharks. And videogame sharks are the baddies. Here are the 9 deadliest sharks in PC games.
Megalodon -Ark: Survival Evolved
Zombie shark -Resident Evil HD Remaster
Bitey shark -Raft
The shark in Raft is a deadline with teeth. He circles your slowly expanding survival vessel, periodically having a chew on the wooden extremities and generally keeping you on your toes. He is thereto keep the pressure upin a survival game that would otherwise be languid, even tranquil. This is marine tenacity at its finest. He is a sandpapery alarm clock. He is theDuolingomascot’s unhinged cousin. He is the ever-present threat, always watching, waiting for the moment to make himself known in the most terrible, inconvenient way. This is Chekhov’s shark.
Shark team -Depth
Lava lizard -Subnautica
It can swim through lava, which is something no living shark can match. Also, thisscaly dirtbagcan spit glowing chunks of magma, pelting you with hot rocks like a cavalier teenager gesticulating with a badly rolled joint, burning holes in your expensive mechanised diving skeleton. The steamy rock projectile will also simultaneously kill and cook any fish it hits, making this creature the equivalent of a shark too busy to eat anything other than microwave dinners. These critters live in the most inhospitable zones of this, the best survival game, and I’ll be honest, we’ve never been friends.
This thing -Rain World
Does the house-sized beast wriggling swiftly beneath the waves in this tough natural-select ‘em up qualify as a shark? Do its innumerable string-like appendages detect prey through electrical impulses, as does the mako or the hammerhead? Does it roam the depths, out of sight in the brackish gloom of that grand trench, with an uncontrollable lust for bone and blood? All of these questions are beyond the scope of this article. I ask that you disregard this entry as apocrypha, and never think about this creature again.
Goblin shark -Stranded Deep
An aggressive little shit who will not take a hint, even when the hint is three spears to the head.
The Hungering One -Sea Of Thieves
Anothermegalodon, but even mega-ier. You can summon this salty sea dweller with some chums after going on a quest in Rare’s multiplayer swashbuckler. But if you do, be ready fora fight. The ship-sized shark will circle your vessels and take opportunistic chomps even as you blast it with cannon shot and squeal with fear. It can also hit the ship so hard that you tumble overboard, into the drink, where it definitely does not feel safe.
The Maneater -Maneater
He’s a maaaaneaterLikes to bite hardHe’s a big sharkThink he wants toChomp. You. Up.
One Off The List from…
Last week we pulled levers and twisted mysterious dials to revealthe 12 most useful inventions in PC games. But according to you lot, one of these machines did not live up to its potential. It’s…the transmutation engine from Opus Magnum.
“I don’t know, man,” says list interrogator “Darth Gangrel” when presented with a machine that can turn base metals into precious loot, “killing the economy doesn’t seem like such a good idea.”
Spoilsport. Okay, see you next week listocrats.
