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The 9 best bugs in PC games"A sort of computer oops"

“A sort of computer oops”

The Oxford English dictionary describes a bug as: “a sort of computer oops”. It is the result of errant coding, mismatched texture, wonky physics or (sometimes) a briefcase. Developers must fight bugs day and night to safeguard the digital realms we call our playgrounds. Sometimes they lose that battle and a bug comes stomping ravenously into our game, ready to upset us. But sometimes that bug is not an annoyance or a game-breaker, but instead the funniest thing to ever happen. Here are 9 of the best bugs in PC gaming.

Hitman’s homing briefcase

An undercover operative is nothing without his gadgets. Silver coins, a wet fish, exploding rubber ducks. But Hitman’s most entertaining non-lethal gizmo was the result of a bug. His briefcase is supposed to be used for smuggling sniper rifles and explosives into public spaces while looking like a reputable businessman. Come Hitman 2’s release day, the briefcase had other plans. It could fly long distances when thrown. It could round corners. It homed in on its quarry with the tenacity of a mother hawk hunting for her chicks. It was such a wondrous bug that the developers simplyturned it into a bonus weaponand called it “Briefcase Mk II”, rather than removing it from the game completely.

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Half-Life 2’s infinitely fast backwards bunny hop

Assassin’s Creed Unity’s horrifying faces

It is comforting to know that underneath every blockbuster’s beautifully sculpted face there hides the same basic organs all humans have in common - a pair of boggling joke shop eyes and a clattering set of novelty teeth. Ubisoft tracked down this glitch and described it as being confined to certain types of graphics card, then patched it out. But not before images of these horrendous creatures were widely shared and forever burned into the collective skull of Assassin’s Creed players everywhere.

Putting a bucket on a shopkeeper’s head inSkyrim

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If you put a bucket on somebody’s head, they cannot see you steal a wheel of cheese. Is this a bug? Or is it incredibly powerful game design?

Momentary invulnerability inHalo

Story time, younglings. In this wrinkled-but-respected shooter, there lies a power-up called an overshield. When you pick it up, your magical spaceshield charges with extra oomph. But some players discovered this charge-up takes a few seconds, and in that brief window, the player becomes invulnerable. This led to players planting dozens of dormant grenades under the game’s warjeep, and at the precise moment an invinciblilised volunteer picked up an overshield and hopped into the car, the grenades would be detonated. Both car and passenger would be sent flying through the air, totally immune to the normally deleterious effect of the massive explosion, and would reach parts of the map previously inaccessible. A golden age of stunt jumps ensued, and there was peace throughout the land. The end.

EDF’s insects

This is a mandatory joke, please step back, please do not engage.

People falling from the sky inRed Dead Redemption 2

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There is no joy such as the joy of watching a ragdoll man fall from a high place. Upon its release, Red Dead Redemption 2’s cup runnethed over with physics bugs. Flailing horse carriages, disappearing John Marstons, horses that wouldinstantly die and catch firewhen they stepped over a very specific patch of ground. But the best for my money was the random raining of pedestrians, characters, and equine friends. People would just fall from the sky for no reason. Sometimesduring cutscenes. Also, remember that time you couldrappel down a cliff using your own vomit? Red Dead 2 was billed as the height of realism and craft in the industry. But it also demonstrates a universal truth I have oft repeated: video games are always comedy, whether they want to be or not.

Quake’s rocket jump

The weapon that became an exploit. The exploit that became a feature. The feature that defined a genre. I have used the tagline of Ridley Scott’s epic historical drama Gladiator as the format for this introduction for two reasons: 1. I am running out of ways to talk about bugs. 2. The rhythm of this phrase has been stuck in my brain since the year 2000, the year Quake 3 Arena stood next toDeus Exand an entire industry put down their rocket launchers for stealth mechanics and something called storytelling. You used to be able to use a rocket launcher to shoot at your own feet andsoar through the air like a beautiful football. And isn’t that a kind of story? I am suggesting: yes.

One Off The List from…

“Axe lad must meet the fate of all soft viking,” says list juror Justin. “He should be banished from this hall of heroes to an overly produced, gritty drama series with all of the other pretend vikings.”

And so it came to pass that the soft one was cast out. I will return next month, list goblins. But for now, I’m bugging out.