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Draft an auto-battling army of weirdos in Million Monster MilitiaDogs, demons, accountants, mechanospiders, and everything in-between

Dogs, demons, accountants, mechanospiders, and everything in-between

Image credit:Rock Paper Shotgun/Dejobaan Games, Space Capsule Games

Image credit:Rock Paper Shotgun/Dejobaan Games, Space Capsule Games

Wacky autobattling in a Million Monster Militia screenshot.

Recruit an army of soldiers, accountants, demons, dogs, dog-catching robots, nanite grey goo, zombies, priests, slimes, whales, fires, nuclear bombs, vampires, and other oddities to liberate the United States inMillion Monster Militia. It’s a roguelikelike deck-building strategy game where you draft units who drop onto a grid in random positions, enabling all sorts of abilities and combos depending on where they all land. It’s kinda likethe roguelikelike slot machine Luck Be A Landlorddressed for a Halloween party in a turn-based tactics costume. Million Monster Militia is ropey in its current early access stage, but I have enjoyed discovering weird builds and I am cautiously curious about its future after some updates.

Million Monster Militia - Launch TrailerWatch on YouTube

Million Monster Militia - Launch Trailer

Cover image for YouTube video

Demons have conquered the USA. Each run sends you across the country through a gauntlet of bosses, each bearing exponentially more health than the last. You start with 9 hit points in each battle and each turn the boss will deal you 1 damage, so functionally you’re damage-racing against a turn timer (though a handful of heals and other tricks can extend this). Your battlefield is a 25-square grid. Each turn, a random selection of your drafted units drop onto the grid in random positions then do their attacks, or abilities, or whatever it is they do, then you get the option to draft a new unit to your militia. Drafting is the main action you have control over, so best think carefully to build the machine that is your deck.

Drafting new weirdos |Image credit:Rock Paper Shotgun/Dejobaan Games, Space Capsule Games

Wacky autobattling in a Million Monster Militia screenshot.

You get the long-term satisfaction of building a deadly militia with a strong mechanism to grow, and the short-term joy (and disaster) of seeing how deployment rolls land each turn. It’s often fun to simply look at the battlefield and see how absurd your militia looks too, the mix of sheep and dragons and attorneys and demons and cloning tubes and so on. I really like the Monster Hunter, a pompom-waving cheerleader. And while I’ve never made a Dog Catcher work well, I am always tempted to draft it for the visual of an industrial robot arm waggling a dog in its iron grip.

Image credit:Rock Paper Shotgun/Dejobaan Games, Space Capsule Games

Wacky autobattling in a Million Monster Militia screenshot.

Too many runs feel doomed. Strong builds still need their pieces, and you can’t count on them turning up in the draw—or in time. You can plan for a hybrid build, include several scaling systems, but the backup plans might scale too slow. And it’s often difficult to pivot to another build even if you luck into strong pieces.

It can feel weirdly stingy too. Not only do you not get a nice reward for beating a boss (a choice of rare units would be tidy), you don’t get a draft at all in that battle-winning turn. And beating a boss when you have more than 1 health means you will have missed out on opportunities for drafting and scaling. It all makes winning harder in an unsatisfying way, encouraging you to rely on known strong builds.

Million Monster Militia does have lots of interesting-sounding units but it discourages experimentation. Lots of combos do scale but you’ll eventually discover they do it too slowly to go the distance. Exciting-sounding units might also turn out to be rubbish. Certain units and combos have the ability to eventually take over your deck, or even outright destroy it, but the pay-off rarely seems worth the cost. It is not fun to play lots of losing runs as you feel out which decks are nonfunctional and which combos are weak.

The lovely Luck Be A Landlord felt rough at the start of its own early access journey. Over time it added more synergies, items, and symbols (and removed some), handed out heaps of buffs, gave tools to reduce RNG, worked onmaking a wider range of builds viable without reducing fun, and more. Updates worked wonders. I like enough parts of Million Monster Militia to hope it undergoes a similar journey.