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Aperture Desk Job continues the story of business mega-bastard Cave Johnson absolutely perfectlyAn ironical yet fitting development
An ironical yet fitting development
Image credit:Rock Paper Shotgun/Valve
Image credit:Rock Paper Shotgun/Valve
Cave pops up in Portal 2 when you’re exploring the lower, older areas of Aperture Science, as voice notes recorded between somewhere in the 50s, 70s, and 80s - at which point he became incurably sick from rubbing moon rocks together, and the voice notes become increasingly emotional. One of his now enduring lines is that, in answer to the aphorism “when life gives you lemons”, he’ll “make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s going to burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m going to get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”
This kind of thing is, of course, very funny, but the voice notes also reveal a cruel man engaged in human testing that kills a lot of people. It’s when he’s dying that he starts looking into artificial intelligence, as well as suggesting that his assistant Caroline should take over the company if he dies too soon to be turned into a computer. Caroline eventually becomes, at least in part, GLaDOS, the AI supercomputer that wipes out everyone in the facility with poisoned gas, before waking you to continue testing. There areunused voice lines from Carolinethat suggest her incorporation into GLaDOS was done against her will.
Image credit:Rock Paper Shotgun/Valve
So while Cave Johnson is written to be charismatic and funny, and kind of a caricature of a shouty 80s buisnessman, he’s also obviously a gold plated dickhead. You sort of assume he just died, which is why it’s surprising to see him turn up in Aperture Science in the form of an AI encased a giant, indestructible metal sculpture of his own head. I gotta tell you, though, I was absolutelydelighted. Aperture Desk Job is a showcase in how Valve are very good at making video games (andI wish they did it more), and also how they never waste anything, up to and including an opportunity.
